I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
