did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize