Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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