From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
