dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
kristin has been a bad kristin
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
