is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
