Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
