What a fucking waste of an outfit
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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