i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
