she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
