suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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