how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
