He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize