Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
