A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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