Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
