he thought i was a dude.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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