sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
