dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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