She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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