The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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