tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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