Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
