I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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