Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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