After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
