Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
