She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
