FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
