how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
