Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
