Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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