We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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