lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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