last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
