what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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