How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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