I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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