YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The dick lei will go down in squad history
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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