i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
