The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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