Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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