I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need moral support for this bender
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
