Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
