I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
