I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
