This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
