Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
