I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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