He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
