You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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