Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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