better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize