you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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