Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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