I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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