listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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