Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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