I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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