also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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