I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
