yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
