yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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