I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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