and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
