first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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