The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
