I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Quick, to the slutcave!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Randomize
