we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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