yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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