garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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