i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
