I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
