sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
