Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
