the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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