Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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