I've blown a few things in my day
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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