not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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