i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I currently don't understand fingers.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
