Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
