Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize