drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
